I struggled several hours this morning on a cafe scene. I hate it. But I'm not going to wipe it off. I am just so bummed now and out of time to figure out what it needs. Maybe fresh eyes tomorrow will help.
To let you know what is up I will just fill you in on the last few months. My daughter developed this habit of pulling her hair out. She is half bald, but has stopped pulling it at least. We're working hard on finding out the reasons why she started it and trying to reduce stress in general. Good luck with that. The new year isn't going so well for my husband at work and apparently the 50+ hours he was already doing wasn't enough so now we hardly see him. And as you might expect, he isn't the funnest person to be around when he is home. ;-)
I am starting menopause at 41. Is this too personal? Might explain some things, however. And my allergies have been awful! Its like a cold that lasts for 2-3 months.
On a good note... which I feel I should end on....I have a solo show in July at Studio 47 in Vermont. So, my studio days right now are focused on trying to create work for that. Also, new works are going to Castle Gallery for their annual Valentine's show next week and I promise to share those here.
Its funny how a blog becomes a link to an audience that I feel some responsibility for. I am still here and still working (trying) and I think about all my friends out there. No need to deluge me with sympathetic thoughts. I am sure you are thinking it and I am sure you all have your own troubles that interfere with your passion. But if you have some idea how to paint when nothing inspires you, let me know!
Below is the one success I had this week.
12 comments:
The big advantage to having the sort of job with a job description specifying duties and responsibilities is that being distracted and uninspired doesn't bring everythig to a halt... you just carry on doing the stuff you're supposed to. But aren't you glad you don't the advantage of having that kind of job? Sorry I can't offer any wise advice, but I know if I were feeling discouraged I would simply look at your "one success" to remind myself that it isn't a full-time, permanent condition.
Hang in there Robin! Your painting looks great! Sometimes when I'm stuck on a painting that isn't "behaving" I mentally "write it off" and give myself permission to "push it" until it either turns into an unexpected triumph, or it becomes a total pile of destruction in which case it can be analyzed, much like a crash test dummy. Either way, you get to learn something new, always preferable over walking away or worse - settling for a mediocre painting. On the life side of things - I hope you feel better soon. As little as I know about painting, everyday reminds me how much less I know about life. Good luck! Happy painting - your work is outstanding!
Oh my Robin, you have been going through a lot. I can sympathize with the number of unsuccessful paintings, just look at that huge pile in my room. I also can relate to the discomfort [physical and emotional] of going through menopause. I'm sure you miss your hubby with all the work he has to do.
Not trying to be Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm but I also got this from your post.
You are still able to paint and produce beautiful images like this one. I love the shadow work here.
You have a husband who you miss. Many women, [myself included] don't and would love to have your issues with the hopefully temporary situation.
You have a SHOW coming up! Congrats. I can only dream of having one , one day.
Menopause is a b_#%$h to get through but it's worth it when your on the other side. Hang in there girl! We love ya!
Hang tight. You are so talented, and eventually you will get your muse back. Life can just suck sometimes, and usually when it gets really rough that is when I do my best work. Guess it becomes my only escape!
I also started menopause at 41, and the only bright spot is that you will be over it sooner than most of your friends!!!
Robin,
Your work is always stunning. I come back to your blog again and again for inspiration! My son's advice (he's 8), was "Mommy, just pick something silly and paint it and just don't care...have fun." I (slap around) paint to music when I'm frustrated, blocked, etc. Praying for your family during this struggle! Keep your chin up, girl.
Robin,
I have always believed that the "highs" could never be as good without the "lows". I was so stressed in December with the holidays and commissions that I really felt my creativity with my painting was not working! It is hard, when you NEED to paint, you can't! Then when you walk away from it and come back after a short break, then it seems to work again.
One last thing ... you "bad" paintings are better that any of my "best" paintings so don't hesitate to post them. I am sure they are great.
Robin, hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself. With so much on your plate it is no wonder you are struggling in the painting department. Your work is absolutely amazing and always inspiring - I have no doubt that your muse will be back soon. Love the sense of light in this one.
Wow. In spite of life happening, that is a wonderful little painting. Living breathing and exciting. Very satisfying to see...
Robin,
I love that this horse is being led so peacefully and confidently toward his spot. Perhaps your unconscious is reassuring you that this is the same situation for your creativity? In any case, the whole piece is full of nurture and gentleness and I have to think this is the best way to be with yourself right now. :)
Kate
I must have missed this the first time around. Love it, love it, love it!
I stumbled upon your blog and found this entry. I could recommend a good book for you which I always rely on as a cheerleader and chock full of good tools about how to keep on as an artist - The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Maybe you've heard of it. The first book in particular deals with beginning a creative life but the successive two focus more on how to keep going. She hasn't failed me in the 12 odd years since I first picked her up. Good luck and happy painting.
Hi Claudine -
I am actually working through the Artist's Way with another Austin artist friend. We're blogging a bit about it... http://artistsway2010.blogspot.com/
I'd love for you to share your thoughts and experiences on it as we go forward!
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